When the idea of attending a sex party came up, we (Eden Chiang and Diana Lin, founders of The Oh Collective) felt a mix of curiosity, excitement, and just a hint of nervousness. For Eden, she’d attended sex parties in her early twenties and had recently visited sex-positive clubs, but it had been a while since she intentionally set out to explore one. Now, in our thirties, it felt like the perfect opportunity to reconnect with this world, not just to embrace our own self-discovery but also to deepen our understanding of pleasure, relationships, and connection with our partners. As for Diana, it was an experience that was too good to pass up. You only live once!
What follows is an honest recounting of our experience—the sights, the emotions, and the valuable lessons we learned along the way. Spoiler alert: it was an unforgettable adventure that left us both inspired and transformed.
Why we decided to go to a sex party
Firstly, why not?! We were invited to a party and we all thought it was the perfect experience to embrace our own self-discovery, deepen our connections, and it was just too good to pass up.
Was there quite some work to begin with? Yes! And it begins with boundary setting.
Boundary setting is one of the most crucial steps before attending a sex party, especially if it’s your first time. Whether you're going solo, with a partner, or as a group, establishing clear boundaries provides the foundation for a positive and empowering experience. This time, we attended as a group of three: Eden, Diana, and Eden’s partner.
Naturally, many people were curious about our dynamic, asking questions like:
- “How do you go to a sex party with your best friend and her partner?”
- “How do you avoid awkwardness seeing your best friend naked?”
- “How do you make sure your partner won’t do anything that upsets you?”
Here’s how we navigated boundary setting:
Boundary Setting with a Partner
- What Are Our Shared Goals for the Night? Are you going for fun, exploration, connection, or just curiosity? Defining your shared "why" sets the tone for a united experience.
- What Are Our Individual Boundaries? Discuss what each person is (and isn’t) comfortable with. For example, one partner might enjoy being flirted with, while the other prefers to stay as an observer.
- What Are Our Shared Boundaries? Establish clear guidelines on what’s okay for both of you. For instance, will you only engage together? Are interactions with others allowed, and if so, under what conditions?
Boundary Setting with a Friend
- Why Are We Attending Together? Are you there to explore your own interests, support each other, or simply satisfy curiosity? Clarifying your intentions helps you stay aligned.
- What Are We Each Comfortable With? Talk about personal boundaries—whether it’s watching, participating, or engaging with others. Respect that your comfort zones may differ.
- Establish a Check-In System. Set Regular Check-Ins for every hour or so, touch base to ensure you’re both feeling good.
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Plan Your Entry and Exit Together.
Will you arrive and leave together, or is it okay to split up?What happens if one of you wants to go home earlier than planned? Having a clear plan reduces stress and ensures neither of you feels abandoned.
What happened at the sex party
The Atmosphere
The event started with a casual vibe. The ground floor had a few rooms, but the play areas didn’t open until 10:30 pm. We decided to grab a bottle of wine, sit down, observe our surroundings, and settle in. The room buzzed with a mix of energy, and it was easy to tell who were seasoned visitors and who, like us, were first-timers.
The vibe was warm and welcoming, with attendees ranging in age, body types, and styles. It felt more fantastical than real—like stepping into a curated, sensual scene.
One thing that stood out was how people made more deliberate eye contact than at regular parties. It seemed like the purpose of the event wasn’t just to mingle, but to genuinely connect with like-minded individuals.
The Play Room Opens
At 10:30, the play areas opened, revealing a series of themed rooms. While we’ll spare the most graphic details, imagine spaces where sensuality and respect coexist.
- The Main Playroom: A large room with a massive communal bed that could fit 30-40 people. It was filled with energy, arousing sounds, and a sense of shared voyeurism. We definitely preferred this room as it was filled with so much visual, audio, and tactile stimulation that really aroused us!
- Smaller Rooms: These offered quieter, more intimate settings. One room, darker and moodier, resembled a dungeon equipped with ropes, whips, and a dom station.
Every room had bowls of condoms and lube (You can bring your own. Try out our Motion Lotion Water-based Lubricant), emphasizing safety and preparation. Additionally, “safety angels” patrolled the corridors and rooms to ensure everyone was comfortable and respected. Lastly, what we also really loved was everyone at the party took consent very seriously. Before anyone engages or touches you, they would normally ask if it's okay to engage with you in any way. We found that to be so comforting and refreshing at the same time.
How We Felt
At first, we were wide-eyed observers, taking in the sights and energy. But as the night went on, we began to relax into the environment. The absence of judgment, the emphasis on consent, and the shared sense of exploration created a contagious feeling of freedom. The environment isn't forceful for you to participate in anything! You are able to experience the party at your own pace.
Ultimately, it was more than just a party—it was a celebration of connection, pleasure, and human intimacy, leaving us inspired and profoundly reflective.
What We Overheard At The Sex Party
"I came to the party with a guy I've been on 5 dates with. He's now having sex with another woman. What do I do?"
"I came with a group of friends to try new things. Few of them are downstairs having a drink and feeling a little shy but I'm having the time of my life meeting so many lovely beautiful humans."
"Can I kiss you? Your lips look so soft."
"Are you into women? I much prefer the F on F experience at these parties."
"Can my husband kiss you? He thinks your absolutely gorgeous."
"My girlfriend is the most amazing kisser. Would you like to kiss her?"
We will share more about the experience in the next few posts. If you have questions for us, feel free to leave it in the comment section below!