The Oh Collective Chinese New Year & Valentine's Day Survival Guide

February 9, 2021 The Oh Collective Shanghai

the oh collective valentine's day and cny survival guide 噢欢乐过年和爱.jpg

Looking for the perfect Valentine’s day gift? Or something that can distract you when being cornered by the family with questions about health, wealth, life, and most dreadfully - relationships and marriage?

Ditch the yearly chocolate, flower, and frivolous spending binge and treat yourself, and your girlfriends, to what matters most: you, yourself and your mental wellness.

How? Simple - The Oh Collective’s carefully selected mantra of Hydrate, Meditate and Masturbate.

the oh collective valentine's day and cny survival guide 噢欢乐过年和爱2332232

🥰 Masturbate: Survive this year's CNY & Valentine's Day

Whether you are single or in a relationship, at home with family or alone, masturbation will bring you to places where your mind will f-i-n-a-l-l-y stop going in overtime. Relax and stop the overthinking about things you don’t have control over anyway.

👇🏼 Overinquisitive family? Masturbate.

👇🏼 Feeling lonely? Masturbate.

👇🏼 Want to channel your inner goddess for your partner during Valentine's Day? Masturbate (together).

👇🏼 Need a break from overeating? Masturbate.

Apart from the great sensations of orgasms, masturbation stimulated blood circulation and simultaneously lowers blood pressure, decreasing overall stress and anxiety. Additionally, little chemicals called oxytocin and serotonin release during your mastur-sesh, which consequently will make you a more loving and laid-back person in its entirety (so even if you don’t do it for yourself, do it to be an even kinder friend, partner and daughter).

Pixie is your perfect partner to bring on travel: it’s small and comes with a travel pack to distract nosy family members. And even if they’d notice: you can always still say it’s a facial massager. Atta girl 💁🏻‍♀️.

💦 Hydrate: Make it healthy, but festive

We all know, but are guilty of not, drinking enough fluids to prevent infections and improve sleep, cognition and overall mood. Hydration is also one of the key factors to increase skin elasticity and moisture as it delays sagging and the premature appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

“But drinking water is... just so boring” - we hear ya, and that is why we partnered with Bruto wines. 100% natural, unfiltered and additive-free to keep you festively hydrated during CNY and V-day. Added bonus: we've tested out the wines ourselves and may we say that our hangovers are less harsh (and for some of us, even entirely gone!).

Golden tip: drink a glass of water after every glass of alcohol. Hydration stacked on hydration 💦.

the oh collective valentine's day and cny survival guide 噢欢乐过年和爱

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🧠 Meditate (& face mask): so fresh and so clean

After those horrid-left-Tinder-swipes, pollution, overtime and CNY with family, it’s time to start the year with a clean slate. Double up on effectiveness and apply a face mask during your meditation sesh to reach optimal calmness and purification.

Face masks are an amazing skincare treatment to hydrate the skin and stimulate blood circulation. They remove excess oils, help improve the appearance of your pores, pull out impurities and most of all: they help you set aside that well-deserved me-time to relax.

We partnered with Lalu Raw Beauty for skin-loving-face masks filled with only natural ingredients. Matcha, shea butter and spirulina to welcome the year of the Ox baby.

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💦 🧠 🥰 The Oh Collective's "Hydrate, Meditate, Masturbate" Bundle

To optimally go after that "Hydrate, Meditate, Masturbate" glow we also offer the full package of vibes, face masks and natural wines as the perfect Valentine’s Day or Pre/Post CNY gift.

Normal Bundle Price:

With Kit: ¥823

With Pixie: ¥806

V-Day Bundle price: ¥520

(aka 我爱你 price, aka ¥300 RMB off the original price (!), aka that’s how much we love you girls!)