Congratulations, you have entered the Year of the Tiger successfully! The Tiger stands for braveness and strength, so leave those f*boys behind, dig up that lusty little lingerie set you once bought in a euphoric state of mind and giddy up for these 5 BDSM tricks that will blow your mind.
1. Temperature play
Let’s start off easy. Temperature play is a simple but great way to get started with BDSM and test the (cold) waters of what feels good on your body. Perfect for solo play or with your partner, grab a couple of ice cubes and run them down on any erogenous parts of the body — your neck, your inner thighs, your waist — just anywhere that sends tingles down your spine!
Alternatively, try to run some warm water onto a glass dildo to experiment during the colder months. Massage oil candles can also be another way to explore heat sensations, make sure to go for low-temperature soy wax candles (like our "Rub Me Tender" candles) to prevent any unwanted burns.
2. Edging or Teasing
Edging refers to the act of testing the limits of what you’re comfortable with or extending sensations so that they become more powerful. For example, if you masturbate to orgasm and that typically takes you, say, five minutes, edging would be trying to extend the time it takes to reach climax. Or, if you’re someone who typically masturbates a few times a week, orgasming once a week can also make them more powerful.
With a partner, if you have a master/sub relationship, sometimes a submissive will need to ask their master for permission to pleasure themselves. During sexual activities, you can (carefully) use edging as a way to test the limits of their pain tolerance. For instance, if you use a vibrator during foreplay and it’s typically on the lowest setting, slowly increasing the settings would be considered a form of edging.
Similarly, teasing can be considered edging. If you’re trying to tease your partner before sex, you can caress every part of their body except their genitals or their breasts, which is sure to drive them crazy.
3. Spanking
Did you know you can spank yourself? Not only your own 🍑, but try your back or your legs (avoid your shins or other bony parts). Get a flogger and play around with intensity, surprising yourself with the different sensations across your body. If you’re doing this with a partner, surprise him/her by playing both nice and naughty (with permission) — spank them hard, and use your hands to rub them softly while the hit area is still tingling. Alternating between these sensations will surely drive your partner mad, keeping them on their toes at every moment.
4. Bondage
Of course, the one we’ve all been waiting for — bondage. Ropes, blindfolds, anything that you can use to tie up yourself or your partner are all game here (yes, that includes those old t-shirts or ratty scarves in your closet). Be careful — while it can be tons of fun exploring control and power in this medium, you’ll want to read up on bondage play carefully as it can turn dangerous if one is not fully aware.
For those wanting to try out bondage through a trained professional, Borderline Collective in Shanghai regularly hosts events for people of all levels to try out Shibari (the Japanese art of rope tying). Huahua, the director of the organization, can also provide individual sessions for singles or couples for those who’d like to test the waters more privately first.
5. Virtual BDSM
For those looking to meet up with a sexy stranger online or for the couples who enjoy a little exhibitionism in their bedroom activities, virtual communities are a great place to explore one’s kinks (while also safely social distancing). There are online BDSM dating websites, as well as Fetlife, which is a social media platform for those who practice BDSM and want to meet others who do so as well. Of course, there’s the old-time classic webcamming, where you put yourself on video and strangers watch and/or comment on your performance.
Whatever method floats your kink, make sure to practice safely and consensually. If you decide to go virtual, remember that "what happens on the internet will for always stay on the internet" (aka if you value your anonymity, mask up).
The world of kink is large and plentiful, so take your time in exploring.
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