Allow Yourself to Grieve
Anne Roiphe once said, "Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life." The end of a relationship is a loss, and it’s essential to give yourself permission to grieve. Cry if you need to, talk to friends, or even write about your feelings in a journal. Embracing your emotions and knowing that it will pass rather than suppressing them can be a powerful step toward healing.
Try: Leave a post-it note for yourself on your laptop or set a phone home screen with the quote by Anne Roiphe. Every time you get a feeling that the world is against you? Read that quote!
Lean on Your Support Network
Surround yourself with friends and family who can offer emotional support. Share your feelings with them, seek advice, or simply enjoy their company. Sometimes, just knowing that you are not alone in your pain can make a world of difference. Most people are so keen to support because they also know what it feels like to go through a break-up.
We also get it, if you're living in a busy and bustling city where it' hard to meet up with people. When I was going through a break-up few years ago in a new city without close friends, I signed myself up to 2-3 social activities every night after work. It forced me to get out of my comfort zone and that's where I explored new passions and met new people who otherwise I wouldn't have met!
Try: Sign-up to a few social events from run clubs, workout classes to even life-drawing sessions. What has been on the list of "if I had more time I would do it" type of events? This is your time to do so!
Take Care of Your Physical Health
Exercise can be a great way to boost your mood and manage stress. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a yoga session, or a more intense workout, physical activity can release endorphins that help improve your overall well-being. Don’t forget to eat well and get enough sleep, as these are fundamental to your recovery.
Try: Join a local run club in a new area. Or check out Instagram for local "hot girl walks" and meet other people who are seeking meaningful connections. If you're in Amsterdam, check out &TheTable Walks. If you're in London, check out Gorp Girls, ESEA Sisters, and Go Play Collective.
Rediscover Your Interests and Hobbies
Now is the perfect time to reconnect with the activities you love or explore new ones. Whether it’s painting, dancing, hiking, or reading, immersing yourself in hobbies can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s a great way to distract yourself, find joy, and rediscover who you are outside of the relationship.
Explore Your Sexuality
Rediscovering your sexuality can be an empowering part of the healing process. Take the time to understand your desires and boundaries. If you’re comfortable, explore solo sexual activities with our KIT break up gift set or read up on sexual health and pleasure. This can be a journey of self-love and acceptance that can lead to a healthier approach to future relationships.
Try: Join explorative apps like Feeld or Pure. Focus on the exploration and less on dating to "find the one". This is also the perfect time to find out what your fetishes and kinks are. You can find out more through this online test.
Embrace Alone Time
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Use this time to get to know yourself better. Practice mindfulness or meditation, enjoy solo dates, or start a new personal project. Alone time can be a powerful opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.
Try: Start this 21 Days of Abundance practice by Deepak Chopra. It's completely free and I absolutely adored every minute of it.
Reflect on the Relationship
Take some time to reflect on the relationship and what you’ve learned from it. What were the good moments? What could have been better? Understanding these can help you grow and prepare you for healthier relationships in the future. I used to find myself swinging from one type of person I date to another extreme. That was partly because I never spent time reflecting but jumping from one relationship to another.
Try: Try writing down your feelings, what you liked and disliked about your past relationships and write down must-have traits for future relationships. Of course, it can always change but it's always good to have a north star!
Embrace the Future
Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel hopeful about the future. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes, the end of one chapter is the beginning of another. Embrace the uncertainty and be open to new experiences and opportunities.
Surviving a breakup is tough, but it’s also an opportunity for transformation. By taking care of yourself, rediscovering your passions, and embracing your independence, you can emerge stronger and more self-assured. Remember, it’s okay to take things one day at a time and to seek support when you need it. The future is full of possibilities, and this is just the beginning of your next great adventure.