Written by Simona from The Oh Collective Team
You know what no one tells you when you’re building a sex-positive wellness brand with your best friends?
That while you’re hyping up vibrators, redefining intimacy, and creating lube for people who actually talk about sex, your ovaries are quietly chilling with their own hidden agenda.
I’m 37. I live in Amsterdam. I’ve spent years chasing experiences — long-haul flights, late-night launch parties, three-day music festivals, and co-building The Oh Collective. Babies? Not exactly top of the list.
But then it happened.
The Fertility Whisper Turned Into a Megaphone
It started slow. A friend at brunch freezing her eggs. Another one unfreezing hers. OB-GYN number one: “Maybe think about freezing.” OB-GYN number two: “You’ve been with your partner 10 years… why not just try?”
By OB-GYN number three, I got the message:
Don’t freeze. Try. If you’re serious about wanting a baby, the time is now.
Cue the identity crisis. Career? Relationship? Freedom? I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids — but I definitely didn’t want the choice taken from me.
So I did it. I started trying to conceive.
And let me tell you: it’s not just about peeing on sticks and tracking your ovulation app. It’s about decoding your cycle, rethinking intimacy, drinking weird-ass teas, and doing things with donkey skin that I never imagined would be part of my future fertility plan.
My TTC Journey: IUI, TCM, and a Whole Lotta Googling
I decided to try IUI (intrauterine insemination) to gently assist the process. At the same time, I went full East-meets-West. I started learning how to improve fertility naturally — not just with hormones and vitamins, but with the help of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).
In China, I met with a TCM doctor who didn’t just take my blood pressure. She looked at my tongue. She asked about my digestion. My period. My emotional state. My partner’s health.
Then she prescribed me teas. Not the cozy chamomile kind — bitter, black potions with ingredients I couldn’t pronounce. One included Ejiao (donkey-hide gelatin), brewed with goji berries, red dates, and black sesame seeds. It’s an ancient formula said to boost blood flow and support fertility.
In TCM, the womb must be warm. A “cold womb” is not a hospitable place for a baby. So out went the iced matcha. In came the warming soups, teas, and the occasional hot water bottle over my lower belly.
This is where Eastern and Western medicine really diverge. Western fertility clinics talk hormones, follicles, and charts. TCM speaks in energy, rhythm, and seasonal shifts. And weirdly enough? Both can work.
But What About Sex?
Here’s the thing about trying to conceive: it messes with your sex life. HARD.
Suddenly, sex isn’t spontaneous. It’s strategic. Calendar-ed. Functional. Romantic? Not always. Especially when your ovulation window becomes your only window.
But here’s what I learned: intimacy doesn’t have to die during TTC. In fact, keeping that connection alive might actually help.
Orgasms aren’t just fun (duh), they also promote uterine contractions that could help sperm reach the egg. Feeling turned on boosts circulation and hormone regulation. And being relaxed? That’s huge — stress is one of the biggest fertility blockers.
So I made it a point to bring back the good kind of sexy. And yes, I ate a ton of our own Sex Bonbon and Date Night Chocolates.
Not just a cheeky treat, but infused with natural aphrodisiacs like maca, ginseng, and damiana — designed to boost libido, enhance mood, and reconnect you with pleasure.
Some days, I lit scented candles. Other days, I didn’t even take off my socks. But I made space for intimacy to exist outside of a fertility schedule. Because guess what? That’s where the magic happens.
Let’s Talk About What No One Talks About
This journey taught me that fertility isn’t just medical — it’s emotional, spiritual, and deeply personal. It's about intimacy, timing, and sometimes, just dumb luck.
It also taught me:
- That Eastern wisdom has a lot to offer when it comes to natural fertility tips
- That trying to conceive doesn’t mean sacrificing pleasure
- That intimacy and fertility are more connected than we think
- And that your TTC toolkit might need a little more than ovulation kits and prenatal vitamins
Try warming foods, herbal teas, mindful sex, and yes, maybe a Date Night Chocolate or two.
Because if you’re going to make a baby, you might as well enjoy the process.
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Have you tried any fertility rituals, TCM, or intimacy hacks that worked for you? We want to know.